PEACE

people becoming braver in voicing out their dissatisfaction..
people daring to take chances..
people trying to make a statement..

im kinda proud of all of this..

but how far can one go..

wouldnt it be better to just accept everything..

afterall..we are living in peace...and tats d most important thing..
do we want to disturb that?

at least we are not left out..
at least we are still remembered..

equality is something nearly impossible to achieve..
and 'peace' is something possible..

we be the bigger people..
we give in...

yucky..

sitting in dunkin' donuts in midvalley...let me describe the scenario here..one couple infront of me who cant stop giggling..another couple at the side of me who just cant stop touching each other..another couple at the other corner who look kinda cute 2gther..haiihh...tak boleh tahan la..the only normal people here are the 2 families sitting in the middle, the guy in the green t-shirt tat seems to be digging his nose:) and me..

ok..an aunty just glanced at my laptop screen..hehehe..wonder if she saw anything??? hahahaha..ok, now the guy who cant stop touching his girlfren peered at my screen too..i can see u looking la...no manners! wil u stop touching ur stupid girlfren..there are people around u la for pete's sake!!!!! go get a room!!!!!!

we need magic..

i sometimes wonder why am i so addicted to reading harry potter? why do i love reading love stories? why do i love watching sappy love stories in tv? why do i like hearing love songs? why did i like watching sabrina d teenage witch when i was younger?

when reading harry potter, i liked d feeling of being in a magical surrounding..they had magic to make life interesting for them..u dunt like someone, u just gv a little wave of the wand and walaa..u turn ur foe into a rodent:) u want to get somewhere fast, u just hop on ur broom and ure at midvalley..hehehe..minus the jam and the parking fee..:) magic gives us hope that life needn't be difficult..

the magic of love..takes u to heaven..it releases all kinds of feeling and emotions that u never knew ur body could possess..it gives u the constant warm and fuzzy feeling..it surpresses all ill-feeling. it removes hate..it makes the world a better place..

the magic in harry potter and the magic of love is of the same kind..not in a literal way, but they bring about the same effect..although we may not really have real magic, but god gave us the magic of love..

things that happened over the weekend..

* Justin's bday..hapie bday my baby brother..
* Arnold's 40th day prayers..i still think of u my dear..
* Charles' sis's wedding..she introduced me as charles' wife..hehehe..i feel oddly hapie bout this..
* finished reading the 7th Harry potter book..mission accomplished!
* met my long-lost UPM frens..i cant believe how much harder it gets at meeting them..

things that were suppose to happen over the weekend..

* start on my thesis..geral is seriously lacking in discipline!
* go for a facial..i can feel the dead skin cells accumulating on my face!
* finish charles' assignment..i dunno wat d heck am i doing?
* clean my room..it feels like im sleeping in a dungeon..
* sleep till noon..my biological clock is so screwed up! i need more sleep!
* avoid mcd and burger king..ya rite! who am i kidding?

what i want to do..

* get a tattoo
* go rock climbing
* learn to trust charles
* learn to be understanding
* learn to be forgiving
* learn to be more giving
* learn to be more accepting of my life
* learn to not give up
* learn to eat well
* learn to be more helpful at home
* learn to relax
* learn to have fun
* learn to take life easily

i realise that im an emotional wreck these last few weeks..i seem to be giving a lot of trouble to many people around me..

to charles..im sorry b..im learning more and more about myself tru u..i cant see myself with any1 else..have patience with me..ill come tru..

mummy..im sorry for hurting u..i dunno if u'll ever read this..im trying really hard to be a better person...dunt give up on me..

one week of fun and food...

i enjoyed this year's bday coz the celebration lasted for a week..my family, boyfren, cousin and friends decided that fattening me up would be the best present for me:) on the eve of my bday, my coursemates (june, ke xin and cheau yee) took me out for lunch at secret recipe..i had so much fun..that i ended up missing my tuition class..hehehe..

then later at nite, my parents took me out for dinner..

cheryl just had to squeeze
herself into the pic.. me n justin..smile la pandi..haiyoo...me n cheryl..u dont need to tell cheryl to smile..she does it automatically when the cam is infrnt of her:)
where's my butter prawns? i need my butter prawns..:(
yummy delicious butter prawns..need i say more? :) the butter prawns made me a very happy person on the eve of my bday..:)

and on my bday day..i spent some quality time with charles:) we had dinner at Lobsterman..it was so damn gud! thanks cheah wei for suggesting this place to me:) i owe u big time..hehehe.. we had a 4 course meal comprising off...ahem..ahem..ahem..."baked mussles, soup, chesse baked lobster and seafood rice" hahaha..i can hear ur ohhs and ahhs..:) it was so gud..it left we feeling all light-headed and happy!

cheese baked lobster with mushrooms and white wine. doesn't it look gorgeous?

dunt worry..thats not the lobster tat we ate:)

i think d lobster looks cuter:)

d next day..teoh decided that it was her turn now to fatten me up:)..so we headed once again to secret recipe..this time i decided to try 'the much spoken about' "tom yam kung"..and it was gud! i finished every bit of it..

tom yam kung...

and then, on saturday..my lovely cousin decided tat she shouldn't be left out from the fun of fattening me up..so, she and abi took me out to a thai restaurant called 'Green Lotus'...it was the best thai food i have ever tasted! not that i have eaten alot of thai food la..hehehe..we ate, creamy and mouth watering green curry..crispy fried squid with lemon sauce, delicious thai fish cakes, crunchy and fresh baby kailan..yummy!!!

me..driving to abi's place..which btw, was really beautiful..wonderfull interior designing skills abi..:)

the restaurant decided that they prefer the times before thomas edison...hehehe..we had no choice but to put the candle really close to vani's face..kinda cool effect it gave rite:)

and me..can only see my fat cheeks:)

thanks every1 for making my bday this year a really enjoyable one..i love evry1 of you'll so much:) dunt forget next year's bday also ok..hehehe..just kidding la..:)

our pool moves..

its always fun to go out in a group..lots of laughter..lots of making fun..lots of giggles.

last saturday,i had my 1st group outing after a very long time..we had a go out with ur siblings, cousin and ur brother's best fren day:)

we played pool, watched 'i now pronounce u chuck and larry' and visited vani a.k.a. valencia:)

cheryl playing pool using a skill only mastered by pros..coached by justin of course:) but she still looks like a pro rite? ya..ya..justin..ure gud..i know..i can see tat..:) im gonna tell amma, where ure going during ur break..ure polishing ur pool skills instead of studying!
me, wit my ok pool skills..i think i played pretty well even with my rusted skills..hehehe

savisha..showing off her hidden talent in pool..we nowknow where she mastered her amazing pool moves:)
lau, justin's fren..the court jester:) we found out that lau has a hidden singing talent:)

and finally..we made it to vani's place..as always..the 2 cam crazy fans strike again! they look very much alike rite? and sorry vani for putting up this pic:)

my photo diary..

hola..
i was told by my boyfren tat my blog skin is very depressing..thus behold the change of my blog attire..and then he decided to add another comment:@ he said that my posts are depressing too!! what the heck? so..i decided to add more colour to my writing too..and wat better way to do it than to add more pics to my posts..:)



so charles and the rest of the world..this is me:)





and then there's my life in the lab and the 3rd best thing in my life..my books..(in first position would be my family and in second, my "comment giving" boyfren)


and then we have my sister..yes..the gifted writer of the family..i think we look alike la..:) but somewhere in her genes, god missed out in the cleanliness genes:)
loud..talkative..crazy..and yet so sensible and kind..:)



need i say more..? im sorry cheryl..i just had to put this pic in =)




and now we have my brother justin..we look very much alike as u can see..:) he insisted on wearing the cap! u shuld see him without the cap, his hair has a mind of its own:)
pampered..spoilt..emo just like me..with a heart of gold..:)










caught in action! justin's got the "poking" gene..hehehe















the 3 of us..we're like 3 clowns on the lose..we rock our house..cheryl's continues jabbering, justin's continues need to poke anyone in his radar and me screaming through the chaos..








im grateful to have them in my life..:)

touch screen

firstly..thanks abi for pointing out the obivious..:) i damn bodoh la..hehehe..

last thursday was a mad day for me..the day started off with me sending my dad to Assuntha for his usual check-up..then i headed back to the Plant Lab to find that another half of my banana plants have died..so i have all together..drum roll please...15 plants left..out of 70 plants! damn tissue culture! yes sheena..im on ur side now..I HATE PLANT TISSUE CULTURE!

then i went back to assuntha, picked my dad up, sent him back home, headed back to UM again and went to the Genetics Lab..once again..weird results from my PCR!

then i got drenched in the rain..with an umbrella! i looked like a wet dog..:( then i tot, i shuld treat myself..i went to Sakae sushi in bangsar village (cheryl, dunt tell amma..:) she'll flip! ) once again, i was alone, wet and hungry..*sigh*

i headed into the restaurant..the waiters were saying something in Japanese..i guess it means welcome la..nodded my head confidently..sat down..hey..they have the touch screens on every table..ya, cheryl has told me bout it..u can just 'touch' the screen to place ur order...so being the Malaysian that i am..i started touching the screen..touch..touch..touch..eh..rosak ke my touch screen? why ah..nothing's happening? then i looked around..where are all the waiters that greeted me just now? im hungry..then i saw a waiter, gave him my order and continued to look around for anything else to fidget..i took the wasabi, put it into the small sauce plate, added in the salty kicap..eh, where are the chopsticks ah? oh..there they are..alamak! wats this?? there's a mouse here la..and walaa...upon placing my fingers onto the mouse, i see the cursor moving on the konon-nye touch screen that "cheryl told me about"!!! oh god, oh god..look left look right..did they see me earlier jabbing the screen? even if they did, i wouldnt have seen them..they might be at the kitchen now, laughing their heads off at me! how am i ever going to go back there again? damn u cheryl for telling me tat tats a touch screen! damn me for being so idiotic!

oh good lord..im gonna be 25!

im going to be 25 in exactly 2 weeks..as i get older i feel that i have more regrets than ever bout many things in my life..i wish i can turn back time..i wish i can do it all over again (anything except my STPM)..i wish i can make all my wrongs right..60% of my regrets have been my education..and the other 40% is the person i have turned out to be..

i shuld have studied harder for my SPM (at least i would have easily gotten a scholarship and not be forced to sit for my STPM-which is f-ing difficult and it literally freezes ur brain cells)

i shuld'nt have given up so fast on my STPM (at least i would have gotten a better course for my degree)

i shuld have worked towards a first class honours in my degree (at least i would have been able to immediately work towards my PhD or gotten a full scholarship)

i shuld have been wiser when choosing the kind of Masters programme that i want to do (an MSc is far better than an M.Biotech)

i shuld have worked harder in my M.Biotech (though i felt as if i practically squeezed every brain cell of mine dry when doing my coursework)

i shuld have potrayed a better image to my siblings

i shuld have been a better daughter

i shuld have been a better girlfren to charles

i shuld have been a better Catholic

i shuld have been more patient

i shuld'nt have scratched my eyes so much (now i have the perpetual drunk look!)

i shuld'nt have eaten so much of McD (McD is addictive..its worse than coffee!!!)

i shuld'nt have gossiped so much (i cant help it la..when 2 or 3 are gathered there is bound to be gossips at hand!)

i shuld have been naughtier when i was younger (at least i would have more stories of my childhood..interesting stories..at least..*sigh*)

so this year..instead of having a resolution on new year's, im having a resolution for my 25th bday..so people..here goes..

do not regret bout the past..
be hapie with the choices i have made
work towards a better future
work towards being a better person

this includes..
*being a better daughter, sister, girlfren, fren, cousin,relative, student..etc..
*being more and more patient..(i really seem to lack in this area..its as if i lost or mutated that part of my gene)
*taking better care of myself
*eating healthily
*lessen my gossip sessions (ill try la..hehehe)

my never ending sadness...

when god takes away a person, it is actually a test for the rest of the family members..it is at times like this that u actually see a family being united. helping in the funeral preparations, praying for strength, crying together, sharing in the sorrow and pain of the lost loved one, trying their very best to lighten the family's burden (though no number of hugs or words of encouragement can lighten the pain of a lost person)..

arnold's passing..showed me how united my family was..i always knew i had a very close-knit family, but never did i think that only through death could i see this..:( as always, there were a few idiotic people that took his death as their cue to lash their "wise-ass comments"..we dunt need your 1/2 a cent comments! ure just plain stupid! idiotic! and judgemental! and please bring ur royal asses back to earth for you're not GOD!

the passing of arnold still comes as a shock not only for me but the rest of my family..but i guess, god had his own reasons for taking him away so soon..

we just cant stop talking bout him..i know that life goes on, but the very thought tat he's no longer here saddens me..he was only 17+ for pete's sake! rapist shuld die..murderers shuld die..not arnold...never arnold...

arnold raj...

31st August 2007 will be a day tat i will never forget for the rest of my life...arnold raj..my havoc, crazy, clowning, loving, talented and funny cousin passed away..and he was only 17+...d two days of crying was the worst ive ever felt in my entire life..and tats just me, a cousin feeling like crap..wat more my aunty, uncle, vani and mervin? wat more arnold's grandmother?

his accident is still a mystery..and yes, to all of you'll tats feeding us with ur version of the accident..i dunt get it!!! it doesnt make any sense!!! get this into ur system "the truth will prevail"

i keep recalling bout the last time i saw him..i was asking him if tats d time to get up! (it was 5pm and he was just getting up!) :) now i wish i had asked him if he was ok, or spoke to him longer, or even made him rap or beatbox for me:(

even at 18, he led a very colourful life..he was always at his height! creating some kinda chaos..at any party, you could always hear his voice..he was either making fun of someone, laughing or joking around..the proof of his eventful life was the turn up at his funeral...the church was packed!

to arnold..im sorry ur life ended this way..u had so much of potential in u..so much of love..so much of kindness..so much of everything..

may ur soul rest in peace...

my independence...:) and my new phone..hehehehe

i have a beautiful handphone..i have an amazing boyfren...im so hapie.......

this is a pic which i took from my new phone..:) i look like crap but cheryl looks nice (as always)
so people..frens, relatives, foes and pencuri handphones..yes, i am the owner of a very gempak sony ericsson S500i..its utterly gorgeous..and my utterly amazing boyfren bought it for me as an early birthday gift:) im so hapie..im so hapie..im so hapie...and yes, im so hapie..:)

this time im sitting at secret recipe SS2. eating fish n chips, drinking ice-lemon tea and awaiting the arival of my carrot slice:) yum...:) charles is on his way to Bali...:( bitting my lips and trying so hard to be this strong independent girlfren..but u and i both know the truth..u cant help but miss ur boyfren when he's miles away..:( no matter how much of a girl power supporter are u, no matter how independent u r, no matter how capable u r at being alone...deep down u wish ur loved-one is there beside u...:)

charles has often told me that i shuld learn to do things by myself..and not be so dependent on my frens and of course on him as well..and 2 b honest im not so much as the type that would have a meal by myself in a restaurant.i have gone for shoppings by myself but tats coz i think and decide better by myself.frens and family around me especially during christmas shopping is a total no-no as i end up getting frustrated and being very indecisive!

so anyway, back to the matter at hand..can i really be independent? well, i seem to shock myself..this past year..to be exact, ever since i started my research, i have been nothing but alone..(and lonely la..*sigh*) and now ive come to the extend where i feel like i actually dunt mind having a meal alone, going window shopping or the actual shopping, checking out mph for books, shoe-shopping, etc...

all i need is cash, credit card and my laptop (if the place where im going has internet access)...so charles, u better be damn proud of me coz i dunt bug u as much as i use..:) i have yet to achieve the height of independence which is going for a movie 'alone'..just typing this sentence out is giving me the chills...:( i think i am very far from achieving tat la..and plus, i seriously do not want to achieve tat kinda independence...its too cold and lonely...

i love charles for getting me a new handphone for my birthday!!! my baby..my darling..my sweetie...:) and for spoiling me rotten...hehehe...

i look like cookie monster thanks to my unruly eyebrows! my hair looks like someting dead on my head! my skin looks so dull! i feel like shit! my life is like shit! my work in d lab is depressing! my life at home is like hell! charles is taking mighty long to reply my email! my back is aching thanks to d stupid chair in d lab! i hate sitting at starbucks coz its f-ing expensive! i hate burger king coz its f-ing fattening! i hate bangsar coz getting a parking there is like finding a buried treasure! i hate charles for going on a holiday without me! i hate being always left out of everything! i hate driving everyday! i hate d hot weather! i hate! i hate! i just plain hate everything!

of most guys and only some gals..:)

yes charles..ure rite! gals are jealous beings..they are territorial..they control ur life..once they dig their nails into ur flesh, they never let go..they hold on to u and tie a leech around ur neck and ure destined to be their unpaid slave whereby freedom will be a distant memory..a hope thats beyond ur reach..

guys on the other hand..are god sent..they are beautiful creatures with a heart so pure and chaste..their presence make our life beautiful and worth living..they walk on this earth with an ultimate destiny.."to make women happy"

YA RITE!!

GUYS WILL ALWAYS BE JACKASSES..AND only some GALS WILL BE JENNYASSES

i spoke to Jaclyn Victor on the phone yesterday!!!!!!!
im so darn happy!!!!

d human mind...

have you ever wondered how some people are so gud at creating a gud impression? its like they pre-plan every action of theirs so tat ultimately they end up 'looking' like d nice person or d innocent one or d person who could never hurt a fly...

i sometimes wonder how can they know how to react so diplomatically every single time..even when the situation is against them, they never show it in their faces..its as if they have already thought of all the consequences if they react in a negative manner..they know wat to say, wat not to say..wat to do, wat not to do..who to be nice to, who to ignore..and mind u, these actions of theirs pay off in the long run..coz in the end, they are the 'nice ones'..

it amazes me how naiive ive been all these years..i have never thought of being nice to a person just coz i will be in their gud books..if im ever nice to a person its coz i just want to be nice..tats it! no ulterior motives to tat...guess im not tat far-sighted..*sigh*

u have nothing...and yet u think tat u own the Bahamas! :)
u speak so highly of urself...and yet u cant even get a minimum qualification
u look down at others...when the rest of us have achieved more than u can possible achieve in a lifetime
u laugh and jeer at us...and yet, the mirrors shatter at ur sight:)
u are probably gud at one thing and u brag bout it till thy kingdom come....imagine how much more we can brag!!
u make ur presence felt in a hurtful way...when the rest of us make our presence felt, cherished and remembered
u will probably have frens...but will u still have them when ure at ur lowest?

u are the lowest jack-ass anyone has ever known..and yet you will continue to haunt us...we will remain quiet and endure ur spiteful remarks for tats the type of people we are..we will never stoop down to ur level..the level of cow-dung and cat shit!!

im suppose to be angry!! not u!!!!

so wat???

so wat if i dunt write bout intelligent or interesting stuff? i like writing bout stupid things..i hate psycho-analysing things so i just end up writing bout dumb things la..at least i write...
so wat if i like writing bout myself? wat else is more interesting than a 25 year old female:)
so wat if i have a big forehead? coz im getting smarter la...
so wat if i like going to church? i want to be a good catholic, if u dunt want to, then i cant give two hoots!! but dunt condemn!! u have no right!!!
so wat if ive had d same boyfren for the past 6 years? ure just jealous!!!
so wat if i look awful in pics? its not ur face rite? then why d heck do u care? am i ur girlfren?
so wat if my dad told d world that im gonna do my PhD? he's proud of me, so lay off!!!
so wat if im still not working? am i asking you for my petrol money?
so wat if im still studying? am i using ur brains?
so wat if im dark? at least i have lesser chances of getting wrinkles or skin cancer:) bet u didnt noe tat rite?
so wat if im pampered? ure envious!
so wat if i like to whine? am i whinning to u?
so wat if i like to cry? am i using ur tear glands?
so wat if i dunt read the books that u read? at least i read..
so wat if i cant write as well as u? im sure u have better things to think about than my writing skills?
so wat if i like shopping? im not using ur hard earn money rite?
so wat if im into romance? i just like it la..cant seem to think of a witty remark:)
so wat if i like the people that u hate? i dunt share ur DNA, so dunt expect me to hate d people u hate!
so wat if ive had many admirers? hehehe..hahaha...hohoho...ure just fucking jealous!!!! go jump off the cliff! there's nothing u can do bout tat!!!
so wat if i cant speak Tamil? at least i dunt claim to be eurasian like some people do...tak sedar diri!!!
so wat if i hate gold? i just hate it la...
so wat if im sentimental? someone has to be rite?
so wat if i like order? tats just the way i am..
so wat if i like to get a tattoo? i think its interesting..people are just shallow bout tattoos and get d wrong idea bout it..
so wat if i wear short skirts? im thin..so i can wear watever i like!!!
so wat if im just like every other gal? i can be normal...there's no harm in tat...
so wat if people dunt read my blog? i noe that no one reads my blog..i dunt read their's too..:)
so wat if im average? i work hard even to be average...
so wat if im not witty? i still am able to make people laugh...
so wat if i do not have d patience? i just do not have d patience...
so wat if im frustrated? i just feel tat way...:( just stand by me..dunt give ur comments..i dunt want to hear it....i just need you there...tats all...
so wat? so wat? so wat? ya, so wat????????

here is a list of interesting things tat has been happening in my life...:)

* my research- which is super interesting..im actually trying to insert a human gene into the banana plant. im researching on the expression of the protein...cool rite??? :) dun look at me weirdly..it is cool...:)

*my swimming lessons- it is going on fine..except for the fact tat even after 3 lessons, im still scared of the 4 ft water:(

*my tmnet hotspot prepaid account- this is super cool..im like this cool chic..sitting at restaurants, having my meal while surfing the internet:) haiih...i cant help but beam :)

*my little stint in a Korean academy- im actually teaching Science to Korean kids..i love this job!! its fun..coz i get to see them squirm when i teach them bout sexual reproduction:)

. anger . frustration . hurt . broken heart . tears . sadness . dissapointed . fear . mental torture . emotional torture .

need i say more????

i just started my swimming classes 2 weeks ago..it was not too bad..besides the fact that we always end up with back and shoulder pain by the end of the lesson:) i realise that my fear for the water is so strong tat i always hesitate before attempting anything in the water. mind you, the water is only 4 feet and i am more than 5 feet! :)

why do i have fear for the water? let me highlight the whole web community on something that happened nearly 10 years ago...my family and i went to the waterfalls in Kota Tinggi, Johor. it was a beautiful day..the sun was shinning so brightly, the birds were chirping...it was all so glorious..when i, being the wise person that i always am, wanted to stand like Xena (The Warrior Princess) on a huge rock. and before i could attempt to do anything else brave, i slipped on that moss filled rock, slid down the rock and landed into the gushing water..and when i say gushing, i mean GUSHING!!!!! i was screaming and yelling!!! all i could ever think of at that time was..IM GONNA DIE, I HATE D WATER, IM GONNA DIE, IM NEVER GOING NEAR A WATERFALL EVER EVER IN MY LIFE!!! thank god, one of my very brave cousins manage to grab my leg before i went further...

and so people...tats my very sad story as to why i have a fear for water....:(

people never seem to understand whenever you tell that that ure frighten of the sea. they say things like.."aiyaa..u wont drown la..ure so tall..u can just try to walk a bit further away from the beach..im holding your hand rite? u wont fall la..." STUPID!!! DUNT U UNDERSTAND!!! IM BLOODY SCARED!!!!

and then there's the whole dumb ass thing that they do. throwing everyone into the water!! they somehow, cannot understand the fact that i am scared!!!! whenever i see any of my cousin's charging towards me, i run away from them as fast as my legs can carry me and find safety..which is behind my mum or dad...and if they manage to get me, they grab me and so very conviniently toss me into the sea...:( and when i manage to stand up, spit out the water from my mouth, wipe my teary eyes..i end up looking like a wet rug...:( and my cousins end up laughing their heads off at the pathetic sight of me! i end up as a subject for their cheap thrills!!!

so now, after 10 years..ive finally decided to face my fears..im going for swimming lessons. its not going very well..but from wat i was, this is progress for me...:) so to all you people who think tat its funny to throw people who are terrified into the water, well i have news for u, ITS NOT FUNNY!!!!

sitting in A&W now..(10.25am). and yes, i know its a bit early 2 b indulging in fast food, but if ure in my situation u'd understand. anyway, im not pigging out on burgers or root beers...im having a healthy hearty breakfast..u shuld try it, its quite good..(especially their banana muffin:) )

well, as in my friendster shoutout, MY HANDPHONE WAS STOLEN!!!! To that piece of crap that stole it, ive been cursing u ever since u stole my precious handphone from me! i cursed u when i was driving home & couldnt listen 2 my songs in my playlist! i cursed u when i didnt wake up on time as my phone now has a horrible tune as alarm! i cursed u when i passed every sony ericsson shop! my guess is, by now, u would have either landed in hospital coz of a very bad rash all over ur body, with puss oozing out! or ur wife or girlfren would have left u coz ure too ugly or because of the rash:) hahaha....the things i would do just to amuse myself!!!!!! ;)

so now, im using my mum's handphone..its ok la...but none can compare to my baby sony..haiihhh....(cursing my phone thief again!!!! ) i hope to get a new phone soon...at times like this, i wish i wasnt still studying! (why must i want to do my masters??? why oh why????)
ive set my eyes on sony ericsson W810i...d black and orange one...my mum told me 2 be patient, as she might get it for me:)

i hate d fact that even being 1/4 a century, i still have 2 depend on my mum...even tough i am earning a bit from my tuition classes, but i still do not have enough cash to buy fancy handphones at such short notice..maybe i might be able to get it, if i stop eating out, make my car move on water, start communicating using smoke signals with my boyfren (save my handphone bill), walk to UM, walk to Sri Gombak, drink water instead of ice lemon tea and do a whole lot of other things to save money..and by the time i have saved enuf, i would be another 5 years older!!! (cursing the thief again!!!)

oh well, the only hope i ever have at getting a new handphone is to be patient and hope that my mum would be an angel and buy me the phone..W810i, hold on baby, im coming soon...:)

im still at A&W (11.00 am), still have another hour to kill..

already in my supposedly final sem of my Masters program..if all goes well, i might be able to complete my research and thesis writeup by the end of this year..d research is so unpredictable...it may go smoothly for one week and d next week, it will go all crazy!!! i trully trully hope that d crazy period is over...i cant afford to sit here for another sem...its like there is a choir group singing in my head "ure 25...get on with it..."

A&W is pretty quiet now..how d heck can people drink rootbeer so darn early? dunt they feel guilty??? high concentration of sugar and gas so early in d morning is not gud people...coffee is better...:) not that its any good either...:) oh boy..im talking crap again...guess its d scambled eggs and banana muffin doing its trick..;)

how can people blog everyday..how come there are so many exciting things happening to only them and not boring people like me..or maybe they are more observant than me..how can they have a witty comments about everything that they observe? when i observe something, i just observe it, go home and tell everyone about it, tell charles about it and tats it..i dunt go psycho-analyzing it like some bloggers do...i guess, in short...IM JUST A BORING PERSON!!!! ouch...tat really hurts! ive finally embraced that fact...sad sad geradline....:(

ok la..i guess i better go..i think my post is a bit too long this time...which half of it is a load of crap:) so cheryl, once again: NO COMMENTS!!!! and charles: IM SORRY 4 BEING A PAIN..and I am independent...:)

ciao people..take care of ur handphones...:)

im going to change..

im a sadis..someone pointed tat out to me yesterday. i always tot so highly of myself. i never really tot that im this pathetic. wenever some1 tells me something bout myself, im always defending myself. but this time..i was left speechless..it is true..as im getting older..i am becoming a sadis..a bigger and bigger sadis..day by day..before it starts eating me up..i better change my ways..i suddenly realised that there is so much to change in myself. i wonder how come no one has actually told me anything..or maybe, they have been telling and im d stupid imbecile who keeps defending myself...

so, this lent..i shuld pray more for myself..and make it a point to change my ways..ya, i noe that its not normal for one to 'kutuk' oneself on d net. but i do not give two hoots! this is d only way i make it clear to myself that I NEED TO CHANGE MY WAYS..or else...i might lose all d people who are dear to me..:(

p/s- people go and watch d pursuit of happiness..!!
it makes you realise a lot of things about life...

and cheryl..i so do not want ur comments...!!!!

what drives me...

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valentines...

hehehe..hahaha..hohoho..my baby is the best!!! i celebrated my valentines on Monday. i met charles in KLCC where we went shopping for a gift for me!!! :) i wanted a pair of Levis but i ended up buying a Swatch watch...hahaha..jangan jealous ah people..after our watch shopping, we went to watch 'the last kiss' which was one heck of a dumb movie!!! at the end of the day, we ended up fighting for i dunno wat reason:(

on valentines day, charles was still not his usual self (this meaning his constant laughing and yelling) poor me..i was trying so hard at getting him back to his normal self..i couldnt see him on V-day as I had to help my mum. wen he called after work yesterday, he asked me if i received anything. and i was like acting bodoh la..but i knew that my baby actually got me flowers..:) had to maintain macho la...i told him tat i didnt receive anything. then Bloomings called me and let the cat out of the bag. they asked if i have received the chocolates and flowers...wow, there are chocolates 2? :) so i told them la tat i didnt receive anything. then charles told me that i will be getting it at 10pm. damn cacat rite Bloomings? im sure the flowers and chocolates would have cost him a bomb and yet they can send it so late!

so anyway, i received a bouquet of red gebras and a box of Ferrero Rochers with a mesage from my baby at around 10.45pm...conclusion.... MY CHARLES IS THE BEST!!!!!

thanks charles, i know that im a bag..sorry sack full of nonsense. but i luv u to bits..hope that there will be many many more years of laughing..smiling..crying..fighting..whacking..and everything beautiful and rosy..i luv u..

p/s-i cant seem to paste the pic i took...so mengada rite? hehehe..:)

im talking rubbish...forgive me:(

Time:-6.30pm
Day:- 29th Jan 2006
Feeling:- tired..and hapie coz i'll be seeing charles in a few hours time:)
Reading:- Alchemy of desire-Tarun Tejpal

life has begun once again with a million and one things to do..ive already got a research project for my final semester.which kinda took me by surprise coz i got it so easily..not that its an easy project:( but i expected things to be a bit harder in getting a research and locating a supervisor that would actually give you money to do a project for them..so, in other words, im kinda hapie that things happened so fast for me:)..so, i'll have about 11 months to complete my research and do my write-up..which is a helllotta work to do, but im willing to do watever it takes to graduate by this year!!!

i wish i would discover something in the world of biotechnology..something new that would help the world in one way or another..is tat a bit too far fetched:) hehehe..dunno la..dont mind trying though. and if i do..it will be gud..but if i dunt, tak ape la..as long as im doing something that i love:) tats d most important thing rite?

but is biotechnology really my calling? or is drawing really my thing..haiih..dunno la...bio makes me feel scared..everything is moving at such a rapid speed. sometimes when im reading bout the latest advancements in this arena i feel as if im left behind. all these researchers have knowledge at their fingertips. they are so gud at wat they do and wat makes them even better is the fact that they can constantly improve what they've discovered.. will i be able to be like them? or at least close to them...;)

ok la..tats it for now..dunno wat else to write about..:)

adios..
work hard people..

another year...

its another year..cant believe how fast d time is passing..im 25 this year!! can u believe it? I'M 25!! I made such a big fuss about being 24 last year and now im 25..i think i shuld make a bigger fuss now..:)

this year i made a few resolutions..i cant recall if i made any resolutions last year.maybe i did..and as usual, by the middle of the year the resolutions are forgotten and so is the paper which i wrote in, thrown away..
my mum told me(from a book she read) that when you write down what u want, u take one step closer towards making it come true..so this year, i wrote down my resolution..clearly..in a book..which i'll be carrying it everyday to class..so i guess, im one step closer towards making it a reality..:) tats a big step rite? :) im trying to be positive here..hehehe..

ive started my classes..haihh...:( i just cant wait for it to be all over..im actualy becoming very fed up of studying..cant wait to get things done..get a job, get a hse, a car, if possible get a scholarship to do my pHD..guess thats too much to ask for..my mum says tat im never satisfied with whatever that i have..im sure charles agrees with her too:( but can i help it if i have big dreams and i get really frustrated when i dunt seem to get even close to it..i noe its good to have big dreams, but i guess everything depends on luck and whether God thinks that that is d best thing for u:( why does God have to think so much...:( just give me everything la..=)

so to d people who read my blog..does anyone even read my blog? besides cheryl who clearly has nothing better to do..

cheers to d New Year..may all of us get everything our heart's desire as we all bloody well deserve it and may God not think so much and let us have everything...;) and wish me luck as i only have another year to go before i get d title MBiotech behind my name:)